oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
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