They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
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