you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
