he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
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