please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
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