haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
