Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Randomize
