he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Randomize
