I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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