Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
