how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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