Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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