The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
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