just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
