Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
