I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
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