So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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