i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Randomize
