I hate your face
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
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