hotel room ftw
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
