sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Randomize
