I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
