How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
