You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
