I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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