"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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