I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Randomize
