i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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