I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
im calling her cock vulture from now on
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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