I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
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