Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize