Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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