you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
he fucked my hip out of place.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
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