whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
