Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
