Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Randomize
