Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Randomize
