So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
