So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
