well I can't set my house on fire every night
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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