Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
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