**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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