ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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