And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Randomize