how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
areolas are like halos for boobs.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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