she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Randomize
