He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Randomize
