i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
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