Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
