i just had sex bonerless
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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