hotel room ftw
I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
