Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
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