I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
