Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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