Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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