I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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