I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
