So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize
