I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
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