He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Semen is not good for contacts.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
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